Halstead Brothers
by mtngirlforever
Summary: Halstead brothers one shots. Ch. 1- based off for 5x01 Disclaimer: I own nothing. Any lines from the shows belong to dick wolf & NBC
1. Chapter 1

**Being There**

It started with a shot. One single gun shot. Will knew as soon as he saw the girl rushed into the ED; it was going to be one of those days. A day he wouldn't forget for a while.

After they had the girl stabilized, Jay and his new partner Upton showed up with the mother. After explaining everything to the parents, they settled the little girl in a room. Will let out a sigh. It was always harder when kids were the innocent victims.

Another hour passed, and Will was finishing his rounds when he noticed his brother hanging outside the little girl's room.

"Her vitals have stabilized and she's holding her on," he started with knowing Jay would ask first thing.

"So she has a chance?"

"Yea."

"That's great news," Jay said even though he appeared tortured. Will knew he took cases with kids personally.

"You ok?" He asked even though his pager was buzzing.

"No, not really man," Jay said as Will watched him fight to reign in his emotions. Will was all he had left to lean on and he knew he couldn't lie to him.

"Look I know it's hard to see some punk sh..."

"I shot her. I shot her. Bullet came from my gun."

"Your gun?" Will asked disbelievingly. He was trying to wrap his head around what Jay was saying and how he knew his brother was feeling.

"Yea so..." Jay trailed off knowing Will would get his meaning.

"I'm sorry Jay," he said truthfully before his pager buzzed again. He let out a huff before saying, "A'ight come 'ere." He wrapped his arms around his little brother tight giving him some comfort before he knew he had to race back to work. "You just stay strong alright?" He said giving Jay another squeeze.

"Thanks man," Jay said as Will headed off. He didn't want to leave Jay, but duty called and he knew Jay understood.

/

Jay met with the shooting team and had finished some work with the team when Kim gave him the news. It was like his already tilted world titled some more and he was struggling to find balance.

He raced to the hospital. He needed Will's explanation. He needed to know why. He slammed his Jeep in park in the parking lot and raced inside.

"I was just about to call..." Will started seeing Jay rush into the ED his emotions simmering just below the surface. He pulled him to an empty ED room knowing Jay could lose it any second.

"You said she was gonna make it. You said she was gonna make..."

Will interrupted knowing Jay wasn't really blaming him. He was blaming himself, and it killed Will to see his little brother like this. "I said she had a chance. She was in bad shape... lost too much blood... There's... There's only so much we can do."

"I know... I know... I'm sorry..." Jay trailed off as his emotions were eating him alive. He saw the parents walking out and it was too much. He turned from Will walking off and Will let him. He knew his brother needed the time to process what had actually happened. He knew if he went after him right then, Jay would push him away harder. He'd get him after shift and make sure he was going to be ok.

/

Will was clocking out when Maggie showed him the news conference and Jay in the background. Will let out a sigh and a nod. "Thanks Maggie," he said quietly.

She gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Be the good brother I know you are Will. He needs you now."

"I know. I will. I'm going to track him down now."

Maggie gave him a nod before letting him head out. Will headed off to his car dialing Jay. He knew deep down Jay wasnt going to answer and he was going to have to track him down. So he was a little surprised when Jay actually answered.

"Will..." He said slightly desperately.

"Yea man it's me. Where are you?" Will asked worried that Jay actually answered and how he sounded.

"Sitting in my jeep," he whispered. Will could hear him run his hand over his face.

"Where Jay?" He asked again.

"Outside Morgan's house," he said after a long pause.

"Jay..."

"I found her necklace. Her mom deserves it."

"Ok buddy. I'm going to the apartment. If your not there in thirty minutes, I'm calling your team to track you down. Got it?"

"Yea... yea ok. I got it," Jay sighed before they hung up.

Jay took another deep breath after hanging up with Will and wiped his eyes. He knew they were red rimmed but he couldn't do anything about it. He also knew Will would seriously call the team if he wasn't home in thirty so he needed to suck it up and get it over with.

This was always the worst part for him. Facing the families. He always shouldered the blame for being there when their loved one wasn't. He always felt he was the one that deserved not to be there. All he had left was Will and while they were much better than they used to be, he felt others deserved to be home more than him.

He took another deep breath and finally opened the door. He slowly walked up to the front door and knocked. He wasn't even sure they would answer, but he wanted to return Morgan's necklace nonetheless.

When her mother opened the door, Jay was at a loss for a moment. He knew his face was conveying his despair, but he couldn't stop it. He'd been the reason their little girl wasn't home anymore and it was killing him inside.

"I found Morgan's necklace," he finally managed. "I wanted you to have it," he said holding it out to her. She slowly took it and Jay felt a small sense of relief. He fought the tears before uttering the most useless words he'd ever heard himself, "I'm very sorry."

He stuffed his hands in his pocket, fought back the tears and walked off. He sat in the Jeep for a minute until he felt stable enough to drive home. He sent Will a text so he wouldn't worry and headed for the apartment he now shared with his brother.

/

Will had heated them up a pizza and got one beer each. That's all he was allowing Jay, knowing alcohol had been his crutch after the Rangers. He wanted his brother to open up to him and not fall back into old habits.

He heard Jay's key in the door and let out a sigh. "I got pizza, beer and Hawks opener," he yelled from the living room.

"'Kay. I'm gonna change," Jay called and Will could hear the tiredness in his brothers voice.

In just a minute Jay joined him. He took the beer and didn't even attempt the pizza. His eyes fixed on the tv but Will wasn't sure he was actually watching.

"Jay. I'm here ok? You're not alone."

"I know," he finally sighed rakinghis hand through his hair. "I just keep wondering if I could've done something different ya know?"

"I know," Will said giving his arm a squeeze. "But I don't even know what happened so I can't help."

Jay was quiet for a bit and Will wasn't sure he would even tell him. "I was under fire. Two offenders. Civilians had already been shot. I took cover behind a car and fired back. The bullet... hit the offender, went through a wall and hit the girl... It... it was a "daycare" no one knew about. If we'd known..."

"Jay stop. You can't 'what if' it ok? You did what you could to stop some one from killing you or anyone else. You did what you are trained to do."

"Yea," he sighed. They settled in silence; Will knowing when to push and when to not.

"At least the Hawks are winning," Will said after a bit trying to push a plate of pizza to Jay.

"Yea," Jay said with a small smirk ignoring the pizza. After a minute he turned to Will and sighed.

"What?" Will asked wrapping his arm around his brother giving his shoulder a squeeze.

"Thank you," Jay said laying his head on Will's shoulder.

"For what? I didn't save her Jay. I couldn't," Will said wishing with everything in him he could have saved the girl to save his brother this pain.

"You were there. All day. Even when I tried to blame you." The unsaid 'you normally wouldn't be there because I pushed you away,' hung between them until Will reassured him.

"I get it buddy. I told you. I was gonna be here. And I am. You're not in this alone Jay."

"Thanks to you big brother. You're all I've got left."

"Im gonna be here Jay," Will said giving his head a ruffle and hiding his smile. Jay was gonna be ok. Even after this shitty day, Jay would be ok. They watched the game quietly and it wasn't until it was over and the Hawks won that Will realized Jay had fallen asleep on him. He settled in a little more, grabbing a quilt from their mama they'd tossed on the back of the couch and covered Jay up.

"Sweet dreams little brother," he whispered before closing his eyes to sleep too. It'd been a long day for them both, and they'd come a long way in the years. It felt good to be there for each other again. Their mama would be happy. And with that Will was out too.

 **Hope you enjoyed. This is gonna be all Halstead brothers. Any requests or suggestions are accepted. Also thoughts about the chapters appreciated too.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Back in Town**

 **based off CPD 2x17 & 2x18 and CFD 3x19 **

Jay shows up at the pub right after hearing Will was in town. He hadn't seen his brother in years and this was gonna be a hell of a reunion if he was already being called to a pub to bail his ass out of trouble. "Hey," he called out to get Will's attention.

"Jay," he smiled turning around at the sound of his brother's voice.

"The hell is going on?" Jay asks as the fighting resumes. Once he gets them settled and the fight stopped he sarcastically replies with "That's fun!"

"Yea good times," Will laughed.

"Hey I uh... I thought you were getting in next week?" Jay asked

"I moved it up," Will shrugged with a smirk.

"How long you in town for?"

"Haven't decided yet. Hey can I get another round back there?"

Jay rolled his eyes, "Don't you have a uh medical practice or something like that?"

"I took a break," Will said sheepishly.

"So you got fired?" Jay said frustrated.

"Dude..."

"Just tell me," he said almost used to it at this point.

"Will you relax and have a beer?"

"Can't man I'm working."

"That's right. Get over here," he said pulling Jay into a hug. "It's good to see you."

"Yea. Stop by the district later."

"I will, I will. Go save the city," he calls as Jay heads out.

A few hours later, Jay hears Will is downstairs and goes to get his brother, glad he actually took him up on the offer to stop by. To say he is amused to see Will giving Platt medical advice would be an understatement.

"Free medical advice Sargent?" He can't help but ask as he tries to hold in his laughter.

"They'll charge me like a four hundred dollar dectubile to go into the clinic near me. It's ok come on."

Will is fighting his laughter like his brother. He looks at it some more. "Oh god. It's a derma hematoma."

"What's that?" Platt ask nervously.

Will looks back at Jay to stay stoic. "You need to go to the hospital immediately. Is your car nearby?"

"Should I drive?" Platt ask as Jay watches them like a pin ball machine silently freaking out.

"I'm just kidding," Will says trying not to laugh. "It's a hickey."

Jay can't help but roll his eyes at the look on Platt's face when she realizes Will played her. He tells her to rub aloe Vera on it and Jay can't pull him away fast enough. "Great. Thanks for that. Thanks."

"Sorry," he half-heartedly says as they head upstairs.

"How's New York?" Jay asks settling Will in the break room

"Good. I just needed a little breather."

"From what? VIP booths and models? What's the real reason?"

"When did you become such a cynic? Oh what, I can't take a vacation? Come back and hang with my little brother? So which one is she?" He asked changing the subject as he glances into the bull pen. He's always been good at diverting attention off himself.

"Don't," Jay says seeing who Will was asking about. They weren't on good enough terms for this yet.

"No just nod your head. I mean they're both hot."

Jay bites his lips with a smirk knowing this was his typical brother and he wasn't going to let it go.

"Or is it that desk Sargent from downstairs?" Will teases.

"Yes! We're on the back burner right now," Jay gives back not letting Will one up him at all.

"Aw," Will teases before Jay throws out the big question.

"Where you staying? Dad's?"

"I was thinking your place."

"Alright," Jay says surprisingly ok with it. "I'm pretty deep in a case right now so, take a cab, we'll get some food later or something alright? Shut up, here she comes," he says seeing Erin headed their way.

"Ok," Will says glad to be let in on one of his little brother's secrets finally. After a brief exchange with Lindsey, Will got a text and headed out taking Jay's key.

Later that night when Jay gets home from work, he sees Will already in the kitchen. "Hey man," he calls out.

"Yo," Will answers rummaging in the freezer. He grabs a bag and gently places it on his eye as Jay walks up.

"What happened?" He asks concerned.

"I might not have told you everything about why I left New York." Jay stares at him with concern and Will stares back. However, he's unwilling to be honest with Jay yet. They've got to work on building years of distrust back before Will can share his secret.

 **2 days later:**

Jay had been fighting Voight every step of the way with their case. It had been a tiring day no doubt, but when he got the call from Voight saying he needed Will's help, Jay loaded them up and headed over.

"Will's an awesome surgeon. He's worked in worse conditions than this," Jay said reassuring Charles as Will got started. No matter their current differences, Jay would always defend his brother to others.

He didn't hesitate to jump in and help Will when he asked for it. He'd learned enough in the army and from Will to know what he was talking about and what he'd need. When they realized they had visitors, Jay didn't hesitate to jump into protective mode even if he pushed Will to finish up and get to safety. He needed to know Will was safe since he'd brought him into this mess.

After a shootout and a tussle with the offender, Jay just wanted to go home and chill. It'd been a long damn day. However, he had to drag his brother home with him and Jay knew it'd be anything but relaxing. They serisouly needed to talk especially if Will was staying in town.

Will settled on the couch while Jay got the beers. "Hey so... how much of what went down tonight... was... you know..." Will trailed off.

"We're a specialized unit," Jay quickly replied passing Will his beer. He settled in the chair across from his brother, essentially ready for battle since he wasn't sure how this conversation would go.

Will just nodded taking that in before jumping in with a different topic. "I'm thinking about sticking around."

Jay slouched down in the chair across from his brother and just gave him a raised eye brow look like he was impressed.

"Talked to someone at Chicago Med. They need ER doctors."

"Woah! No more breast implants," Jay half smirked, half laughed.

"Son of," Will laughed shaking his head. "I did cleft palates too alright? No one mentions the cleft palates."

"My bad," Jay laughed loving giving Will a hard time.

"It was fun for a while, but you know... New York wasn't me. I did three years of touching up rich men's wives and not a minute meant as much as the work I did overseas."

"Then why'd you bail on the gig in Sudan?" Jay asked as if it was the dumbest thing Will had done, especially if it meant so much to him.

"They threw money at me," he shrugged. "Plus the thing went south with the girl. Samara. Oh... if you coulda seen her man. Most beautiful girl I ever met in my life."

Jay shakes his head lost in his own thought. Leave it to his brother to be caught up in some girl during one of the hardest times in his life. "You shoulda been here," he can't help but say even though he won't look at Will.

Will watches him as Jay continues even though he's not sure he should. But he's already started and can't stop now. The pain written all over his face as he finally meets Will's gaze. "Mom was dying, you're off partying." Basically that's what he got from what Will said and it just opened that unhealed wound. He can't help but blame Will when he needed his big brother the most and he wasn't here.

Jay could see some of Will's regret in his eyes as he sits forward putting his empty beer bottle on the coffee table. "You left." Will can't help but fight back. Yea he knows he let Jay down, but he can't help but be defensive. He's always been like that.

"I left to fight a war," Jay says as if there is a big difference in their reasons for running half way around the world. "I came home."

Will sits back with a sigh. "I saw dad," he says changing the subject again. "He uh... He said you haven't spoken in a year," he accuses.

"Probably two," Jay says with a smile devoid of any happiness or humor. They continue their staring contest for the longest. Will unsure what to say to that and Jay unsure where to start digging in to get over this rift between them.

Growing up they'd been close as ever, each other's best friend. When Jay went to war and Will jumped at med school, they drifted apart. When their mom died, the space between them grew to unbearable and they barely saw each other. Jay was currently fresh off a break-up, barely had Mouse back in his life, and if Will was going to be staying in town, he wanted to get over this now. He wanted to start repairing this thing with his brother once and for all. For one his mama would want him too and for two he actually missed his brother. He missed having someone to chat with about just about anything. But he knew Will, and getting Will to start the serious conversation would be like waiting for warm weather in the middle of winter.

"You left," Jay says again but quieter this time.

"Damn it Jay he wasn't just hard on you, you know?! God being a doctor was the dumbest thing ever to him and a waste of precious money at that. He hated I chose this and made sure I knew it too."

"You were his favorite though," Jay shrugged as if that made it all better.

"Didn't matter. Not when I wouldn't do what he thought I should. So I left. I couldn't handle him and his mouth anymore. I got the Sudan gig straight outta med school and I jumped on it. It was gonna put me far enough away from him and you were gone last I heard so what did it matter?"

"Yea... yea I was. Probably in Afghanistan by then," he shrugged. "But I came home. When I found out I was here," Jay said slamming his own empty beer bottle on the coffee table. "I left you message after message that mom was dying, she lost her will to fight, and you never came! You never even called! I had to deal with him and his hateful ass-hat ways and how he treated her on my own Will! You weren't here!"

Will ran his hands through his hair and sighed. "And I've regretted it since Jay," he said quietly to calm his brother.

"Partying was more important then! That what happened now? That how you got the black eye?"

"No damn it! I wasn't partying."

"Then what the fuck happened Will? Huh? I'm a cop. If your in trouble I need to know so I can help you damn it. Especially if you're staying here."

"Don't you think if I wanted you to know I would've told you?!"

"Yea... you know what?! I'm done Will. If you're not even gonna try and work on this, then what's the point?! Why are you even here?!" Jay got up and headed for his bedroom. Obviously Will wouldn't do this so Jay was done trying.

"Damn it Jay! Can you not be a cop for just a minute? Just once?! Be a brother for a change!" Will yelled at his back.

"Oh that's rich from you Will, but I tried damn it!" Jay yelled turning back. "You didn't wanna talk about anything else. So give it to me, straight. No bull shit. What happened in New York and why do you have a black eye?!"

Will sat back on the couch with a sigh. "You're not letting this go are you?"

"No I'm not. Not if you're staying here in my apartment. You're telling me what happened."

"Fine. I had an affair with one of the partners wives..."

"Jesus Will," Jay said throwing his hands up as he paced.

"Would you just shut up and let me talk?! You wanted to know so damn it don't interrupt."

Jay just nodded biting his lip. He was not the least bit surprised about Will sleeping around, but apparently there was more to the story.

"Anyways... I got caught with one of the senior partner's wives and he got pissed. Convinced the rest of them to fire me, and convinced me I wouldn't get a job anywhere else in New York. Which was fine with me. I wanted to come home anyways. New York just... was too tempting and wasn't me."

Jay bit his lip to interject that apparently it was because Will obviously hadn't changed his player ways, but he kept quiet so Will could keep talking.

"Anyways before I left town, this girl I'd hooked up with some showed up at my apartment claiming to be pregnant. I'm always careful... always! So I didn't believe her. Anyways I left town and apparently she told her brother and he tracked me down. He is to thank for the black eye," Will finished with a shrug.

"So... what are you gonna do? Is it yours?"

"I dunno. I doubt it. I swear Jay... no matter how much I 'sleep around' I'm always careful."

"Doesn't matter Will. If this is your kid, you gotta finally step up. Lose the freaking player attitude and grow up."

"Cute," Will said flipping him off.

"I'm being serious Will. You're older than me and act like you're still twenty! Yea, shits happened and we've been through a lot, but you gotta let it go and grow up at some point. You can't keep running from your problems."

"Real nice coming from you little brother. You're the one who just admitted you haven't even spoken to dad in two years."

"Yea well... he's a real ass," he shrugged.

"I know. But don't go giving me advice when you can't even face your own problems."

Jay was quiet for a bit. "Yea your right. Look at us... what the hell happened to us Will?"

"Life... shitty dad..." he shrugged. "We could name every excuse in the book Jay, but it doesn't fix us."

Jay nodded his agreement, settling on the couch by Will.

"Mama would've had our heads for this," Jay said quietly.

"Yea I know... Jay look... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for not being there for you. You deserved better and I know I let you down. I let mama down. And I've regretted it every day since the funeral, but I can't change it now. I can only be here now."

"I know. She actually told me before..." he trailed off. "Anyways she told me not to hold it against you. You were dealing with thingd the best way you knew how, but I didn't listen," he shrugged.

"We good now?" Will asked after several beats of silence.

"Yea... yea we're good," Jay said with a small smile. "But you need to figure out the kid deal."

"I already have," Will said with a shrug. "She left a voicemail this morning saying she'd had a miscarriage last night as a result of a fight with her brother. I don't even know if she was really pregnant or not, but it's over."

"I'm sorry man," Jay said giving Will's shoulder a squeeze.

He gave a shrug. "Oh well. Time to move on and settle in here."

"No knocking strangers up," Jay smirked. "I might actually like you living in the same city for a change."

"No worries there. I think I've had my fill," he said causing them both to laugh.

"Wanna tell me about Lindsey yet?" Will asked going to get them another beer.

"What's there to say man?" Jay said with a shrug taking the beer from Will.

"Well for one you could start with what happened. Definitely don't think she's over you."

"Ha," Jay scoffed. "She has a better poker face then I do."

"Avoiding little brother," Will said with a raised eyebrow look they'd both perfected from their mama.

"She's basically Voight's daughter. He saved her from the streets and raised her from a teen on. He doesn't do in house romances and she's loyal to him so, here I am. She'll choose him over me any time and I went in knowing it. But I was dumb enough to think I could change her mind," he spilled quickly.

"Damn. That sucks."

"Tell me about it," Jay said drinking his beer. "Seems like we ended up with the same shitty luck with women huh?" He smirked.

"Yea... Yea, I guess," Will laughed. They finished their beers catching up over lost time. Things weren't perfect, but after that little chat, they were definitely on the road to repair. If Will stuck around long enough, they'd be back to how they were before life pulled them different directions.

 **3 days later:**

Jay was fixing his coffee when a female approached the kitchen in barely anything. "Hey, hi, morning," he says awkwardly. He was going to kill Will.

"Melanie," she said walking on into the kitchen.

"Jay, Will's brother."

"It's nice to meet you," she says taking a cup of coffee.

"Yea," he smirks to cover the awkwardness as she goes out to kiss Will who is tying his tie coming out of the bedroom.

He gives his brother "the look" as he passes by into the kitchen. "When do you have to be at work?" He asks.

"Ten minutes ago," Will says looking at his watch opening the fridge.

"It's your first day," Jay says with his raised eyebrow look of disbelief.

"Uh... first and last as it turns out," Will says rummaging through the fridge. "Almond milk? You don't have any regular milk in here?" Will asked turning to look at him.

Jay serisouly cannot believe his brother at the moment. He thought they were good, Will was gonna stay, etc. But yet again, Will is proving Jay right about how immature his older brother can be. "You're joking?"

"No," Will says pulling the almond milk out after all. "I gotta get back."

"To what?! I thought the partners kicked you out of the practice and fired you?!"

"They did. But, this may come as a shock to you," Will says being a total smartass. "There are other practices in New York city."

"Hey how bout for once you see something all the way through." Jay can't help himself letting his frustration with his brother shine through.

"Wow you sound like the old man," Will replies getting his own jabs in.

"There it is," Jay says not surprised by Will in the least. "I mean that is why you're blowing back out of town right?!"

"What do you care?" Will says going for the low blow.

Jay bites back the retort about them actually working on their relationship and being there for each other. Instead he goes with, "Just give it a couple of weeks, at least. You never know..."

"I gotta go," he says with another glance at his watch before leaving Jay to stew in his thoughts of how much Will hasn't changed after all.

A few hours later PD got the call a bomb had exploded in the ED of Chicago Med. They'd raced over, Jay trying Will repeatedly with no answer. When they rolled up and saw how bad it was, he called again.

"Tell me your not in there," he said as soon as he finally heard Will answer.

"I am. Listen, the guy who blew himself up, said he had something worse than Ebola."

"What?! Like he's spreading it with this?" Jay asked trying not to freak out as Ruzek is watching him.

"Yea. Every single one of us in here as been in contact with him."

The look on Jay's face said it all. He'd just gotten Will back and he couldn't lose him again. "Who was he?" He asked knowing he needed as many details as possible.

"No idea. Do us all a favor and find out would ya?" Will said before hanging up to get back to work. He knew Jay was worried, but he had to focus on work until Jay could tell him more.

Jay was trying to process and stay in detective mode as he hung up with Will and went to get busy. He wasn't sure what he would do if something serious actually happened to his brother.

After hours of digging and then hearing Tony tell him things weren't good and to patch in Will, Jay's worry just intensified. He might want to kill Will on most days, but no one got to hurt him and get away with it.

Just a bit later, Will had never felt such relief at hearing the guy wasn't contagious. He needed the minute to process for sure. Finding Hannah in the break room was something of a surprise, but he couldn't stop himself from sliding down beside her after the day they had. They just sat in silence relishing in knowing they were going to survive.

Once Jay finished up the paperwork and Will clocked out and cleaned up from the hospital, they met up at Molly's for beers. "So..." Jay started as they sipped their beers.

"So..." Will said back.

"You good?" Jay asked since Will wasn't gonna share freely apparently.

"Yea... yea I'm alright. It was... it was a rough day," Will finally relented.

"Yea... Yea it was." They sipped their beers in quiet for a few minutes. "Were you scared?" Jay finally asked needing to know if this was a wake up call for Will or not.

"Yea... yea I actually was. All... All I could think about was running out on you this morning after being an ass."

Jay nodded as he sipped his beer. Will had definitely been an ass but he wasn't in the mood to point it out. "What about you?" Will asked.

"Yea man... hell you should've seen it when we rolled up... and then you saying you didn't know what he was trying to spread. Yea... it was pretty terrifying."

Hermann replenished their beers after a few. "So what are you gonna do?" Jay asked Will finally. He needed to know for sure if Will was leaving again or not.

"I think I'm gonna stay. I mean really there's nothing in New York. I already admitted that even if I said different this morning. It would just be too much and too easy to fall back into old ways."

"Oh like having strange women over in the mornings," Jay smirked unable to pass up adding some light to their dark day.

Will chuckled as he shook his head. "Yea... sorry about that."

"Uh huh," Jay said not believing him.

"Anyways. This is home and I just don't wanna leave after all. Today reminded me why I became a doctor. I needed that. Plus... if I go, we'll just end up with distance again and I don't... I don't want that," he shrugged as if it was nothing but really it was everything to them both.

"Yea... yea I hear ya."

Will nodded and munched on some nachos they'd ordered earlier. "I'm glad you're staying Will. Not just to see out something you started," Jay said serisouly.

"I know you are. I know," Will smiled. They ate some nachos and drank their beer, closing down the bar. They went home together knowing this wouldn't be the last time they got beers after a long day of work. Will was back and the brothers couldn't be happier.


	3. Chapter 3

**I tried to do what I could with 4x23 and the beginning of 5x01. This is from Will's point of view and how I think he would feel for his brother. Leave me your thoughts.**

 **Brothers Heart to Heart**

Jay knew when they were called out to Bunny's his bad day was going to get worse. Not only was Erin facing the board, but now they had a Bunny problem to deal with.

After just barely seeing her before walking Bunny out, he knew she was going through a lot. But in reality they both had been for the last few weeks. Breakup that wasn't supposed to be a breakup, partner switches, and now all this... it would be a lot for anyone.

Hank sent him to the hospital to wait on an update for Martelli and get his statement. When he got there, he was more than glad to see his brother. He needed a sane voice in his spiraling day.

"It's surgery. They're pulling bullets out of the guy. It takes a minute," Will says as he keeps updating a chart. Jay paces and looks at his watch for the hundredth time it seemed like.

"I know. Its just ummm... There's a lot riding on this for Erin."

"She freaking out?" Will can't help but ask. Jay had shared over beers what had happened and he knew Jay was freaking out. His body language gave him away without their previous conversation about what happened.

"I don't know. We didn't speak really. I mean we couldn't. It's so messed up," he said frustrated.

Before Will can respond, Ethan comes out to let Jay know Martelli didn't make it. They discussed specifics and Will thanked him as he walked off. Jay appeared completely distressed now, so Will gives him an appraisal look trying to see where his brother's head is at. What came next totally took him by surprise.

"I want you to give me the key to mom's safety deposit box. I'm gonna ask Erin to marry me," Jay said completely serious.

Will could not helped the shocked look that crossed his face. Before he could respond, Jay continued with an explanation. "She's all I think about. She's been there for me every step of the way."

Will couldn't stop himself from questioning his brother. He saw things a little differently and clearly Jay wasn't thinking straight at the moment. "Why now? You two aren't even together. Are you?"

"No we're not, but she's in real trouble right now. I want to be there for her. I blew it once but I'm ready," he said trying to come off as determined as ever.

Will couldn't believe his brother in this moment. "Jay this girl does not want to be saved, okay? What you should be doing is putting some distance there."

Gurneys go rushing past and a paramedic informs Will of possible ods with more incoming. The timing is terrible since he's in a middle of a much needed heart to heart with his brother. His frustration was almost palpable.

"Go do your thing. Go!" Jay said clearly disappointed and heartbroken that Will didn't agree with him. Will slapped his shoulder giving it a squeeze before rushing off to work.  
 **...**  
The case kept getting worse the longer they worked it. When Will showed up and Jay informed him of the missing pills and possible more ods, Will could see the fatigue in Jay's features.

He slipped the box out of his pocket and passed it to Jay. "Mom's ring. She always said it's not a race but whoever meets the right girl first gets the ring."

Jay shares a small chuckle as he stares at the box in his hands.

"You sure about this?" Will can't help but ask. He loves his brother and supports him, but this just feels all wrong and rushed.

Jay just gives him a look so Will pushes on. "You tell dad?"

"Why do I have to tell dad? It's mom's ring. It's not his," he says rather hatefully.

Once again they are interrupted, leaving Will completely frustrated with his brother. He definitely isn't agreeing with Jay on this, but at least Jay doesn't look totally heartbroken any more. Will gives him a last glance and heads back to the hospital to finish his shift.

Later when Jay sees Erin outside the district he feels hopeful that this will be their moment. He's even more hopeful when she asks if they can talk. However his hopeful moment is crushed when all she wants to do is talk the case she wasn't even supposed to know about. Before he can even say anything personal, much less get the ring out of his pocket, she's gone and he's left standing there like a fool. He puts it back in his pocket and heads in to wrap up this case that he's beyond done with. No matter how done with it he is though, he can't believe Hank is just letting the murder investigation go.  
 **...**  
At Molly's later after shift, Jay is just staring off into space completely oblivious to the conversation flowing around him. He wants to know where Erin is and why she's not with them. Will can't help but watch him, totally worried for his little brother. Jay had already been spiraling and Will's not sure what this whole day is going to do to him.

"She'll be here," he finally offers knowing Jay needs to hear it.

"Yea. Give me a minute," he says taking his beer and heading out.

"Copy a minute," he hears as Will watches him walk off.

"That means a half hour," Will can't help but say as they others laugh. He drinks his beer staring at the wall wondering how he's gonna get Jay through this.

 **6 Months Later**

It'd been a rough six months to say the least. Jay and Will were sharing an apartment, and while it was working out for them, Will was tired of giving Jay his space.

After that night at Molly's, his PTSD had gotten worse before it got better. Will had kept encouraging him to go to his meetings and open up to him, and while he went, it took almost three months before Jay was even slightly better.

Three months after Erin had left, Jay took a week and went to the cabin. He was getting better, but he just needed the final push to accept she was really gone. His repeated unanswered phone calls should've been his answer but they weren't. The week at the cabin seemed to do him good, and Will thought things were definitely finally looking up for him. He wasn't sure what happened at the cabin, but if his brother was getting better, he wasn't going to complain in the least.

Six months after she left, her previous landlord called Jay because she wasn't answering the phone. They needed the rest of the stuff out of the apartment so they could lease it again. Jay agreed to get it done wondering what all she had left behind.

He told Will he was gonna run by there. "You sure?" Will asked worried this would set him back.

"Yea... yea I'll be alright. She couldn't have left much," he shrugs. Will just nods as Jay heads out.

He'll never forget when Jay actually gave the ring back to put back in the safety deposit box. It'd been two months since Erin had left.

 _"Here... This... uh... This needs to go back," he said shoving the box into Will's hand._

 _"You sure Jay?" Will asked remembering how he'd asked if Jay was sure he wanted it._

 _"Yea," he said swallowing deeply. "She's gone Will. The uh... the apartment is cleaned out. She hasn't been at work... She's gone," he said a look of brokenness like Will hasn't seen on his brother before._

 _"I'm sorry man," Will said quietly giving Jay's shoulder a squeeze._

 _"Yea," Jay scoffed shrugging away from him._

 _"What's with the attitude_ _Jay?" Will asked having gotten used to Jay's anger and outbursts over the last months since they'd moved back in together and Erin left him once again._

 _"You're sorry?! Cute Will! You didn't even want me to get it in the first place!"_

 _"Jay... don't. You know_ _it's not that_ _I_ _didn't want you to_ _have it or y'all not to work it out. I just didn't_ _think it was the right_ _time is all."_

 _"You know what I'm not doing this," Jay said before storming out. Will let out a sigh as he watched_ _Jay leave again. It'd become a pattern with them lately and_ _Will was at a loss._

 _That_ _night_ _when Hermann called him while he was on shift that Jay was way too drunk to drive, Will had left and gone and gotten him. That had become another pattern and he was getting sick of it._

 _The next day after Will pulled a double, he'd had it out with Jay that he couldn't keep falling into old habits and he needed to take his meetings_ _serisouly to get better. Another month_ _of the same shit and Jay_ _finally_ _started_ _to get better._

Watching Jay struggle had been one of the hardest things Will had done. He wanted to help him but at the same time it was hard to help someone that adamantly refused the help. He just hoped that going to the apartment wouldn't be a set back.

An hour later Will's phone rang. It was Jay.

"What's up?" Will answered.

"Can you come over? Help me get the rest of these boxes?" He asked quietly.

Most of what was left was mutual stuff they'd bought together but neither took when they moved out. He would take the boxes of Erin's stuff to Hank so he could get it to her since he seemed to know the most anyways. The rest he'd have Will get rid of.

"Yea. Yea I'm on my way," Will said grabbing his keys.

He knocked and then called out for Jay as he pushed the door open walking in. It was totally empty as he walked through.

"Jay," he called again.

"Yea... bedroom," he finally called back.

"There's not much..." Will trailed off seeing Jay sitting in the floor staring at what appeared to be a picture in his hand.

"Na... I just... thought you could get rid of it," he shrugged finally glancing at Will. "That box goes to Voight. The rest... I don't care what you do with it," he shrugged again.

"What's that?" Will asked carefully sitting down beside Jay.

Jay turned the picture towards Will. It was a picture of the two of them not long after Jay had healed from his undercover kidnapping. They were quiet for a bit.

"It... It was face down under a box... in the closet," Jay said quietly letting it fall to the floor. "There's a whole box of pictures," he shrugged.

"You want them?" Will asked carefully. He had hoped Jay had started moving on, but now he wasn't sure. It felt time to have the heart to heart with him.

"I dunno," he said with a shrug. His head hung a little as his arms rested on his knees taking in the empty room filled with so many memories.

"Jay... I love you. You know that?" Will said nudging his knee to get him to look at him.

"Yea... I know."

"Then don't hate me for this. Just hear me out ok?"

Jay just barely nodded knowing he wasn't going to like whatever Will had to say.

"You gotta let go and move on. She clearly has... She left memories behind Jay... memories she obviously didn't want to remember for whatever reason. She left you once again. You gotta let it go."

"I left first," he shrugged trying his damndest not to get angry with Will.

"Yea you did. Did she fight to get you stay? Did she fight to get you to open up to her? Did she push you like you'd pushed her?"

Jay was quiet so Will continued. "Jay she didn't. She let you walk out that door. She let you put that distance. She didn't try. When you told her about meetings... what'd she say? She needed space? Why? She should've been willing to hear all about it and realize it's a step to getting better. But she didn't. She put as much distance as you did. I love you little brother, I do, and I know you loved her... but you gotta start moving on. She clearly has... quiet easily it seems."

Jay didn't have anything to say back to that. In a way he could see where Will was right and why Will felt that way, but at the same time he knew it was his fault for leaving first.

Will couldn't stop now that he'd started. It'd been six months of avoiding the topic so now he wanted to get it all out. "She left Jay. She hadn't looked back. She hasn't called. Hell she couldn't even take a few pictures. She left... left it all behind. And I know... It sucks to be the one left behind and you feel like you're shouldering all the blame. But this isn't all on you Jay. She made her choice... and it wasn't you," he finished quietly.

"Let's just get this done and get out of here," he said not making a single comment on Will's speech.

Will let out a sigh but nodded. He hoped what he had said to Jay would reach through to him and he'd start the process of letting go... Because he didn't deserve to shoulder all the guilt for her leaving nor did he deserve to keep hanging on to a dream that wasn't going to be.

Erin made her choice. She left. She left Jay and hadn't looked back. In Will's eyes that was a clear sign she'd never loved Jay like he loved her. And she damn sure didn't deserve their mama's ring now.

Jay grabbed a box and looked around at the rest. "I'm taking this to Voight. It's her's so he can get it to her. The rest... toss it all. Pictures too... hell... burn them for all I care," Jay said wiping at his eyes before readjusting his box. "I'll see you tonight Will. Thanks... thanks for this," he said offering Will his first real smile in six months.

"Of course buddy. You know I'm always here," Will smiled.

"Yea. Pizza and beer on me tonight. Have it waiting," Jay smiled before heading out. He left the key on the table and left Will with it. This was just another apartment to him now and it was time to start looking forward. Jay knew Will was right, but it took hearing it from Will to make him see it. Erin was gone. She wasn't coming back. It was time to stop holding on and move on. It hurt, but not as bad as it did six months ago. He was healing, and before long, she'd just be another chapter in his book, another memory that just helped shape him into the man he'd become. Nothing more than just a memory, he told himself as he walked out of the apartment for the last time.


	4. Chapter 4

**based off CPD 2x20.**

 **Brother's Protection**

"Hey," Jay says seeing Will walk up.

"How's Victoria? Any word?"

"I saw the crime scene. It can't be good," Jay says devastation written across his face.

"What happened?" Will asked

"Fire department found her in a burning building. She's got burns all over her body. Her skull was fractured... and she'd been sexually assaulted," Jay said.

"This is just horrible. She's the nicest person."

"You know her?" Jay asked surprised.

"Just in passing. She's a nurse in maternity." They're quiet for a minute as Will shakes his head. "Any idea who did it?"

"Would I be standing here if I did?" Jay asks as if it's obvious.

They share a look before they both have to get back to work. The news of Victoria not making it just made the day worse. However Jay had no idea this case would get worse before it got better, and they'd be ambushing Will for this.  
 **...**  
The next day they're debriefing when Benson approaches Jay.

"Hey... Jay... you know I'm still trying to get some information about this nurse from Chicago Med who was killed. Her sister, unfortunately, wasn't much help. Now your brother's doctor there? Am I right?"

Jay nods so Benson continues; "Did he know her?"

"He said he bumped into her a few times."

"Ok. Think he'd be willing to come in and point us in the direction of someone thay knew about her?"

"I doubt he knows much, but I can give him a call."

"That'd be really helpful. Thanks."

Jay nods and picks up his phone to dial Will. He doubts he'll give them much but no stone unturned right?.

In just a bit Will showed up and Platt buzzed him straight up. "Sargent Benson this is my brother Will," Jay said slapping Will's shoulder in greeting. "If he insists on you calling him Dr. Halstead, you smack him upside the head," Jay jokes.

"Nice to meet you Sargent, and uh.. don't listen to him. You probably already figured that out," Will jokes back shaking her hand.

"Ok if youu go by Will, I'll go by Olivia," she says.

"I like you already," he says before greeting Voight.

"He's got an hour til his shift. I told him we'd get him in and out," Jay offers.

"Of course. We just have a couple of questions," Olivia says.

Voight offers up the break room, and Jay gets a funny feeling before noticing all the pictures are off the board. "Mind if I join?" he calls out knowing he's going to regardless.

"Ummm.." Olivia says before Voight gives him the green light.

They get settled and Will starts telling them how he didnt really know her. Jay stands against the counter listening carefully. Olivia's questions seem innocent until she lays Deborah's picture in front of Will. Then she starts questioning him about her. How he knew her and things of the sort.

Jay's anger was getting the best of him. They were intentionally railroading his brother when he knew Will had nothing to do with this. "What's going on here?" He can't help himself from asking.

Will gives him a look as Olivia finally looks at him too. Her intentions were clear in her eyes before she even spoke. "Well we just found out here that Will was in New York at the time of the other two incidents."

"You just found out my ass!" Jay says clearly pissed now. "Sarge she's ambushing my brother," he starts turning to Voight for back up.

When Voight doesn't say anything he knows and it makes him madder. "You signed off on it," he says disbelief clear in his voice.

"I'm a little confused here," Will says looking between all of them.

"Don't say another word!" Jay says. "We're done, let's go!" He says pulling Will out of the chair.

"You're asking if I did these crimes?" Will can't help but ask Olivia.

"I am," she states honestly.

"I didnt," he starts before Jay interrupts him.

"Don't say another word until you get a lawyer!"

"I don't need a lawyer. I didn't do anything."

"It doesn't matter! If they want to they'll find a way to stitch you up!" Will starts to sit down and Jay grabs him pulling him up as Voight warns him to be careful.

"Back off!" Will yells at Jay shoving him back. "Now I saw what happened to that girl and if it were my sister or my daughter or my mom, I'd want you to do exactly what you're doing right now. Ask me anything you want, any time," he says sitting back down.

Olivia puts paper in front of him wanting him to write a full statement down for the night of Victoria's murder, and Jay loses it. He knocks the paper off the table. "No... no... no. He's not writing anything down! Come on get up! We're leaving now!" He screams frustrated pulling Will up out of the chair.

"Jay!" Will starts but Jay shoves him around and towards the door.

"Come on!" Jay yells pushing him out the door. He has had enough especially since Will has done nothing!

"Damn it would you just chill out!" Will says once they're outside.

"No! Don't you see! They're trying to pin this on you damn it! I'm just protecting you!"

"You don't have to Jay. I haven't done anything!"

"I know this! Which is why I got you out of there before they twisted it somehow that you did do it!"

"I'm giving them a statement Jay. I haven't done anything."

"Would you stop saying that?! I know you haven't ok?!" Jay rubs his forehead trying to think of what to do next.

"Tell me everything. Exactly where you were that night."

Will recounts he was at home, watched a pay-per-view movie before crashing because he worked the next day.

"Fine. Write it out. Give it to me and only me. And I'll go from there. I'll get the record for the movie. But I swear Will... don't say another word to them again?! Especially without me got it?!"

"Yea... yea fine. I'll bring you the statement on my break ok?"

"Yea. Call me. I'll come down and get it," Jay said trying to work some frustration out. How Voight allowed that to happen pissed Jay off more than anything. A heads up would've been the respectful thing to do.

"Jay... let it go. They were just doing their job," Will said giving his brother's shoulder a squeeze. "I'm not in trouhble anymore. You don't have to worry about me."

"Yea... Yea. I just have to worry that my bossy okayed it for you to be railroaded. They were coming for you Will, and I'm not letting it happen."

"I got it. I get it. But I'm fine. Got it?"

Jay nodded.

"I gotta get to work. Let me be the big brother for a change and worry about you. I'll bring you the statement yea?"

"Yea," Jay nodded and headed back upstairs as Will went to work.

He knocked on Voight's door and when he got a "come in," he walked just inside the door frame before starting. "Will's gonna write down a statement. I'm gonna read it and then I'll submit it you. He was home that night watching tv."

"Can anyone put him there?" Hank asks.

"No. He ordered a pay-per-view movie. I'm checking that to see if I can get the record. You have anymore questions for my brother, you go through me!"

"Look I understand how you're feeling Jay," Hank started. "But you're not running point on questioning your brother and I think you understand why."

"I'll get you that report after I've read it," he said really wanting to throttle Voight. He turns back to his desk effectively ending the conversation.  
 **...**

Jay ran out to meet Will after Yates had been questioned and let go. When he comes up, he goes straight to Voight and pulls him into his office. "My brother ordered a pizza the night Victoria was assaulted. The delivery guy will vouch," he says laying a receipt on his desk.

"Jay your brother's been cleared as a suspect."

"Wonderful. Moving on," Jay says sarcastically still not over the fact they'd actually tried anything with Will. "I told him about Greg Yates. Get this, they worked together for a minute in the same hospital. Yates was one of his professors in med school. He's got an opinion about him."

"Alright, what's Will know?"

"He's downstairs."

"Go get him," Voight agrees.

Jay gets Will and gets Erin to join them this time. She stands by Will as Jay takes a seat.

"Sir," Will says respectfully with a nod. Unlike his brother, he knew Voight was just doing his job earlier. "He was one of those instructors that made the students call him by his first name, like to hang out at the same bars we went to. Some bought into it, but I always got a creepy vibe. Someone invited him out to a party one time, and Yates corners me. Starts talking about who has the best ass, who he'd like to have sex with first. Deborah McCullough was at that party. The nurse who went missing."

"Is it the night she went missing?" Erin asked.

"No. I think it was three nights before that, but they were both there! He could've easily met her that night."

Nadia interrupts to say Yates is on the phone for Erin effectively ending their conversation about what Will knew about Yates.  
 **...**

Jay called Will later to update him on what was happening.

"Are you ok?" Will asked.

"Yea... I dunno. Ask me later. Listen I hate to be short but I gotta get packed. We fly out soon."

"Yea... no. No I get it. Go do your thing. Just be careful yea?"

"Yea. You know I will." They hung up and headed out for New York. The case ended worse then any of them could've imagined. With the loss of Nadia and Erin seeming to slip away more by the minute, Jay was frayed beyond imaginable lengths.

Getting back to Chicago didn't seem to really help either. He stayed on edge for days because of Erin and dealing with fall out. Will could see the strain on Jay and he was worried about him. Time for him to do what he'd suggested Jay let him do. It was time to be the big brother and protect Jay for once.

"Beers on me tonight," he text Jay about midday.

It was a while before Jay positively replied. Once he knew Jay should be off, Will headed to Molly's and grabbed them a booth in the back.

"Hey," he said seeing Jay. He already had beers waiting when Jay showed up.

"Hey," Jay said tiredly sliding into the booth.

"You ok?" Will finally asked when Jay had been too quiet just sipping his beer.

"Yea... Yea sure," Jay said absentmindedly.

"Jay?... it's just me," Will said nudging his leg under the table. "Talk to me."

"I dunno man... I dunno." Will kept quiet giving Jay his space to share when he was ready. "We cleaned up her desk today... pretty sure my partner is coming into work high and hungover... so yea," he shrugged finally meeting Will's eyes.

"What can I do Jay?"

"This... just... just being here," Jay finally offered a little smile.

"Yea... I'm here. Whenever you need."

Jay nodded and after a few, Will changed the topic to sports and kept Jay distracted. He was pretty sure his little brother was way past drunk as he kept drinking and talking while Will had stopped a while ago.

When Jay finished his tenth beer of the night, Will decided that was enough. "Alright... let's go. Let's get you home," he said pulling Jay up out of the booth.

"Look at us," Jay laughed. "You're actually getting to take my drunk ass home for a change," he laughed leaning on Will as they headed out to the car.

"Yea... real funny," Will couldn't help but chuckle a little as he got Jay settled in the car. He ran around and got in headed for their apartment.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Jay whispered his head lolling to the window.

"Like what buddy?"

"So screwed up... it's all so screwed up."

"I know... but I got you Jay. I meant it the other day when I said let me be your big brother for a change. I'm here Jay."

"Thanks Will," he whispered before his eyes dropped closed and he passed out asleep.

"Awww hell Jay," Will sighed. He had a time getting his brother into the apartment but once he did he tucked him into bed before crashing on the couch himself. Things might be screwed up, but Jay still had Will and that was all that mattered. 


	5. Chapter 5

***Requested by anon on tumblr; loosely tied to CPD season 5 with Jay's spiral. AU***

It had been a normal day at the hospital. The ED was booming and Will and Natalie had barely had a moment to breathe.

"Feeling ok?" Will asked when they finally got a minute to eat.

"Yea," she smiled giving his hand a squeeze.

Will couldn't help but return her smile. She made him happier than he ever thought possible. Life with her and Owen was much more than he ever imagined. Maggie came up and whispered in Natalie's ear.

"What's up?" Will asked once she was gone.

"I gotta go. I'll catch you later," Nat said nervously tossing her lunch.

"Natalie," Will said grabbing her arm to stop her. "What is it?"

"A patient. I've got to go Will."

"Who? Why didn't Maggie say something outloud?"

Natalie let out a sigh knowing she couldn't keep this from him. "PD called ahead and is bringing in a detective but didn't say which one. If it's Jay you know you can't work on him," she started.

"Like hell," he said getting up and running for the ED with Nat right behind him.

Natalie gave Maggie an apologetic look as Will ran out to wait on the ambulance.

"Look alive people. PD in the house," Maggie called out as she saw the ambulance pull in.

Will jerked the doors open, Nat right beside him as Brett started rattling off vitals.

"What happened" Will shouted as he applied pressure to a shoulder wound.

"Car accident. Hit a pole head on. He was driving," Brett said sympathetically.

"He's crashing," Will yelled as they hooked him up to monitors. Will immediately started chest compressions as Nat shouted orders for the nurses. Maggie paged Conner to the ED stat knowing it was going to be hard to get Will out of that room.

"Dammit Jay! Don't you dare die!" Will cried as he continued chest compressions. Conner rushed in assessing the situation as Natalie used the defibrillator on Jay's chest. Will continued chest compressions trying to keep it together before Nat shocked him again.

This time his heart started again and Will let out a sigh. "Let me," Conner said taking over moving Will out of the way.

"Come on," Maggie said gently trying to lead him out of the room.

Will barely nodded as he kept his eye on Conner working on his little brother. "He can't die Maggie, he can't," Will whispered.

"Hey! Hey! Look at me," she said grabbing his chin. "Jay is not going to die, you hear me?! We are not letting that happen."

Will gave her a nod and sank into a chair behind the counter so he could continue watching Conner work. "We haven't told him yet," he said shaking his head at all the times they'd planned to meet up but hadn't yet. Jay either caught a case or Will and Nat were always working. "He's been pushing himself so hard lately and I've just let him," Will sighed running his hands through his hair.

"Jay's strong Will. It will be ok," Maggie said reassuringly before getting back to work.

Will had known his brother had been struggling since Mouse had re-enlisted and Erin had disappeared to worlds unknown. He knew he'd been butting heads with Voight more often than not, and he also knew Jay wasn't always working a case when they tried to meet up. He'd been trying with his brother, he thought, but now he was questioning everything.

He saw Jay's partner, Hailey Upton, come into the ED and Will sighed. He waved her over knowing he needed to know what happened. "Jay?" Hailey asked him and Will pointed into the ED room where Conner was still working.

"What happened Hailey?" Will asked suddenly feeling extremely exhausted.

"Jay... he got in to deep with a UC and started dating a girl. He's been partying and sleeping with her from what I could tell. When someone connected to his girlfriend was murdered, Voight forced him to choose between us and her. He chose us, but he's been taking it hard. Voight benched him today and made him an appointment with a psychologist. He didn't want to go, and then I pushed too hard. I told him if he wasn't going to take his appointments seriously then I needed to know because I needed to look for a new partner. I left right after that. I heard the call over the radio and came straight here."

Will let out an even deeper sigh hearing just how far Jay had sunk without him knowing it. "It's not your fault," he told her. There was a lot of commotion and then Conner rushed by pushing Jay's bed. Will stood up as Nat came over to him. She wrapped her arms around him trying to give him comfort. "They're taking him to surgery. His spleen is ruptured and there is some internal bleeding. But he'll be ok," she said trying to reassure him.

Will just gave her a weak nod and thanked Hailey for the info. He headed to the break room, just needing some quiet for the moment. Natalie followed him and tried to comfort him as best she could. She knew he was blaming himself for not looking after Jay better, but he'd been trying.

"Will, he's going to be ok I promise," Nat whispered laying her head on his shoulder.

"Nat... he was dating a girl from a UC gig and he's been partying with her. Voight benched him and scheduled him an appointment with a psychologist. He's not ok," he sighed fighting his tears.

"No, he might not be, but he will be. He'll get better Will. We've known all of this has been too much. That's why we were ok when he would blow us off because it gave us more time to tell him the news. He's going to be ok. We'll be there for him, and he'll get better. He'll be happy for us too."

"I know," Will whispered.

They stayed like that for a while before heading up to the waiting room to wait on news from Conner. Will couldn't sit with everyone else though. He kept passing not sure what to do with himself. He was so used to being on the other side, the one delivering the news, that he wasn't sure how to handle everything. When he saw Conner approaching, he hadn't realized he'd held his breath until Nat laid her hand on his back and whispered for him to breathe.

"How bad?" Will asked Conner before Conner could even say anything.

"He's going to be ok Will. We had to removed his spleen because it was too damaged, but we got the bleeding stopped and he's stable. He's in recovery right now, and we're monitoring him to make sure there's no more bleeding or complications from surgery. He's bruised from his seat belt, and had some cuts from the shattered glass, but I removed all the glass and stitched up what needed it."

"Thank you Conner," Will said giving his hand a shake.

"Of course. I'd tell you to wait until he's in a room to see him, but I know you," Conner said trying to make him laugh. It partially worked. "Let me know if you need anything," Conner said before heading off to other patients.

"I'm going back to the ED. Come find me if you need me," Nat said giving him a hug and a kiss.

"I will, you too," Will sighed stealing one more kiss before going to find his brother.

When he walked into the recovery room, he wasn't surprised by all the monitors and noise surrounding his brother. It didn't make it any easier to know what to expect though, when he saw how pale and lifeless Jay looked.

Will pulled up a stool and sat by his bed. He reached over and gingerly picked up Jay's hand. "What am I gonna do with you?" Will whispered quietly. "You have to be ok Jay, and I know you won't remember any of this, but you're going to be an uncle and I need you to be ok. I need you to be here to keep me in line and not turn out to be dad. I need you here to be the cool uncle for my kid. You can't die on me Jay or keep going on this way. I need you little brother, so come back to us ok?" Will said finally letting some tears fall.

Of the two of them, Will was always their dad's favorite and the most like him. Jay always kept him in check though and always pulled him back when he was going too far. He knew being with Nat and Owen had changed him, but he was still scared to have his own baby. Owen was amazing and Will loved him dearly, but there was just something about having his own baby that truly terrified him that he would turn into their dad.

An hour later, Jay aroused slightly and Will reassured him he was ok. He could tell Jay was in pain, so he got him some pain meds and watched him drift back into sleep. Conner came by and did another assessment. He deemed Jay stable enough to go to a room. Once in the room, Will resumed his seat by Jay's bed just talking nonsense to him.

The team came by and checked on him offering any help he or Will needed. Will thanked them and promised to keep them in the loop. Once they were gone, Nat stopped by and checked on them. She brought Will food, and when he tried to decline it, she forced him to eat something.

Another hour passed, and Jay started coming around more. "Hey little brother, you're ok," Will said giving his hand a squeeze.

"Will?" Jay asked turning towards Will's voice. His eyes slowly met Will's. "You look like hell," he whispered making Will laugh.

"You don't look much better there little brother," Will said giving him some water for his scratchy throat.

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?" Will countered.

"I was... I was going somewhere, an appointment I think. I swerved to miss someone in my lane. Then there was the pole, and glass, and..."

"It's ok. I get it," Will said giving his hand a squeeze. "You hit a pole head on. You were pretty bad when they brought you in. You almost died on me," he whispered. He ran a hand through his hair before continuing. "Your spleen was ruptured and they removed it. Had some internal bleeding, but that's been stopped. Some cuts from glass, and a pretty nasty seat belt bruise," Will finished.

"Damn," Jay sighed.

"Yea... It's not... it's not too fun doing chest compressions on your little brother," Will said quietly.

"They... They let you work on me?" Jay said surprised.

"Not really," Will said with a shrug. "But you were crashing when we unloaded you and they didn't really get a choice."

Jay gave him a half smirk. "I'm ok, Will."

"You haven't been," Will started before the door opened and Nat joined them.

"There's my favorite brother duo," she smiled sinking into Will's lap.

"Hey babe," he said kissing her cheek.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Jay glancing at his monitors.

Jay wanted to laugh but it hurt too much. His brother and sister-in-law could never stop being a doctor. "I'm ok. Pretty sore. Will was just catching me on what happened."

"Ah... yes, you gave us a pretty good scare," she said giving his hand a squeeze. "But you're going to be ok, and we're going to make sure of it. We insist you stay with us once you're released," she said knowing Will would ask her later about it. She figured she'd save him the trouble.

"I couldn't guys. Y'all have Owen and I'll be ok."

"It's not up for debate," she smiled. "Besides Owen would love having you there. He's missed his Uncle Jay."

Jay tried to fight back the guilt at her words. Will and Nat had been trying to get him to come over or go out with them for almost three months now. He always had some excuse not too. He loved them, and missed hanging out with them, but it also hurt to see them so in love and together. He also hadn't been in a good place as displayed by his recent actions.

"Nat's right. We insist," Will said giving his brother a look daring him to argue.

"Ok, ok, I will," Jay gave in.

"Great, I'll get the guest room ready this week," Nat smiled. "I'll see you at home?" she asked Will giving him a quick kiss.

"I think I'll stay," Will said.

"No go home. I'll be fine. Just gonna sleep," Jay protested.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Will said giving Nat another kiss completely ignoring Jay's protests.

Nat told them bye and headed home to her little boy.

"Will..." Jay whined making Will laugh.

"I'm not leaving so just stop. Besides we need to talk."

"Now?" Jay asked yawning.

"Na it can wait til you get some more sleep," Will gave in. He dimmed the lights and then tried to curl up on the couch to sleep. Jay drifted off pretty quick, but Will dozed off and on all night. Any little movement left him wide awake. By morning when Jay awoke, he already had breakfast waiting.

They discussed the current hockey games over breakfast. Once Conner had been by to check on Jay, Will decided it was time to have a heart to heart with his brother.

"What's been going on Jay?" Will asked. "And don't try to lie, I talked to Hailey yesterday."

Jay let out a sigh, knowing Will already knew and was just giving him the chance to come clean. Jay repeated everything Hailey had already told him. "I was on my way back to the psychologist when I wrecked. I know I can't do this anymore," he said quie


End file.
